Something within me

There is this "something within me" which is always inside. No matter whatever I do, whatever I think, wherever I may be, this constant thing is constantly creeping inside my head. I know its nature, but it surprises me of its stubbornness. Neither it harms, nor it pains, but it forces me to think.

We might have had good days, but now they are all gone. It does not matter to anybody, neither it should. But it does matter to me, as I was a part. Now.... now what ? A big question. I don't know the answer. I am not asking the answer, but yes I am. Was all that a matrix ? No... it can't be a matrix. It seemed so real. I never imagined that I would be taken away by such a wind. And even when I was taken (considering the human in me), why am I not able to come back and recover. I have to get a answer. I made many mistakes, but what was the actual reason ? I must get a answer. I know, that I am not getting back to those times, but I need a answer. A answer that will be either given, or passed, or told, by me or the beholder. There are questions, which I cannot ask. Neither I have any answers, nor anybody else can answer those for me. I have to find the answers. But where is the source to the answers. Again a question. Well ! Back to square one. Thinking still !

This large black hole within my head, which stays forever, and takes away all the energy, time, resources and peace out of me. Can't do much about it. May be I have to wait to get all my answers, and till then...

Another day, another time, but the same riddle. 

I never knew that somebody could be so within me.

It is July 2, 2013, 21:19 (IST), and I have to live with it.

God Bless...